Newspaper astrology—EEEEEWWWWW!  What crap—wrong two days out of three!  Who reads this stuff?  Who WRITES it?

I do.  Or I have, in the past. 

Newsflash: newspaper horoscopes are based on REAL astrology—actual positions of the planets—in particular, the Sun and the Moon, in relation to each other and to each Zodiacal sign in succession, plus any additional planetary configurations of interest.  And all this in a paragraph or two.  Tall order?  You betcha!


When one writes a daily horoscope column, one first considers the astro-weather overall.  (See yesterday’s blog.)  Then one looks at the phase of the Moon—waxing or waning—which is in effect its relationship with today’s Sun.  Then—taken altogether—one tries to relate all that to each sign individually.  This is called “whole-sign astrology”, and it’s tricky to navigate.

What I do is this:  I take each sign as tho’ it were the Ascendant—the Rising Sign—the key to a chart.  (An astrological wheel has 12 divisions, called houses, which describe parts of one’s life.  The 1st House describes HOW one does what one does; the 2nd, money and values; the 3rd House, communication and travel, etc.)

Then I place the Sun and Moon into the houses in which they’d fall—let us say we are doing a horoscope for Gemini, for today.  Right now, the Sun is in Pisces and the Moon just gone into Taurus—an aspect between them of communication.  In a Gemini wheel, the Sun lands in the 10th House of career and the Moon in the 12th House of spiritual seclusion; I might write something like, “Take time out today to consider the messages you are sending about your career.”  Tomorrow I’d elaborate on those three ideas—communication, career, and spiritual seclusion.   The Moon occupies a sign for 60 hours—2.5 days; so at SOME point during that period the advice will be valid for everyone. Now, let us say YOU are a Gemini born on June 1st: for you, it would work on the second day, because your Sun is halfway through the sign.  Once the Moon moves into Gemini, my line would change to “You will be full of yourself today; but be mindful of how that confidence affects co-workers.”   You see how this works? 

Then I’d slot in the slower-moving planets—Saturn in particular, as it’s an indicator of focus—to add something like, “Workplace communications could be particularly stressful right now.”  (Saturn=pressure; 6th House=workplace & health.)  It’s complicated and ticky; but it’s not magic.

For Cancer—the technique is the same, but the themes would be completely different: 9th House Sun (travel, philosophy, widened horizons, religion); 11th House Moon (friends, groups).  “Talk a friend into booking a tour walking the Camino with you.”

And so on.

There’s considerably more to Astro-Weather than Solar and Lunar aspects; but for the quick-and-dirty synopsis, they can’t be beat.  And newspapers thrive on captions and jargon.  So if it’s in-depth, personal analysis you want, go talk to an astrologer. 

Preferably this one.